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Next Station: Chitlom, and Womanhood

By AnhPhuong

February 24^th, 2018

Three girls, head together. In the ecstasy speed of a tuk-tuk ride. In the slow-moving, invisible dirt of Bangkok's night air. Sweaty palms and perfume. Far gazes and sparkling eyes.

Three nights and three days in Bangkok were decided in the blink of an eye, in the midst of holidays that would have past quickly in dullness unnoticed. In what eventually became an unforgettable trip, the three girls reflected back all the underlying currents that have influenced their transformative years in university, and unearthed image of the mindful women they pictured themselves become.

These three girls have known each other since their freshman year. Fast forward three years later -- at those very moments in Bangkok when they are about to become graduates -- they realized how profoundly moving it is for one friend to witness the process of another's maturity. Admiring each other's highs and soothing each other's lows, "they have aged yes, but with such grace they have".

On returning home, I thought I would write something to commemorate the enlightening experience we've had in the trip. You know, a "dear diary" moment.

But it has taken me almost three weeks and countless drafts that are sitting sadly and uselessly depleting the world's cloud resources.

I tried to tell the places we visited -- they weren't enough, because it wasn't why we came in the first place.

I tried to jot down all the lessons that I've learnt -- they weren't enough.

And that was when I realized, I loved the trip because the people in it; we decided to go because we had each other; and all the places or lessons were just continual context for our conversations along the streets of Bangkok.

So if it's the people, then ...

I loved the trip because the people in it; we decided to go because we had each other; and all the places or lessons were just continual context for our conversations along the streets of Bangkok.

Linh,

“I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You've got mail. I hear nothing. Not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beating of my own heart. I have mail. From you.”

The only way to truly understand Nghiem Mai Linh is to immerse in the wealth of culture she treasured. The excerpt is from a favorite movie that Linh has watched 10 times, which is turning into 11 as we’re watching it at this very moment while I’m trying to finish this blog post. You've Got Mail, stood the title. It’s funny how someone who never check text messages like Linh holds a movie about emails so dear to her heart.

New York in the 90s, two people conversing eloquently about touchy sentiments, which frequently took the form of New York’s fall, school’s supplies, the air and the coffee. Talks about leading small lives, Pride & Prejudice, The Godfather. Connecting and talking about nothing, isn’t it so Nghiem Mai Linh, right Nghiem Mai Linh?

“But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.”

That morning Linh took her laptop and met me at us 4's favorite Starbucks place. “Where do you want to go, Bali? Singapore? Myanmar? What?”

--“How can we jam this trip in the before Tet? Next week is too close, now is too late.”

--“I know, if we go we should have been gone by now, right?”

--“Hey, how about we go now? -- No, no, it is never gonna work.”

--“Why wouldn’t it?”

That wealth of knowledge only gets bigger and bigger since she started university in Moscow. Linh has come home five times since she first took off 3 years ago. And each time, we get to see how she gets smarter, wiser, more balanced, more particular about what she wants out of life. “This is what she learned after her trips to Italy and that is what she learned about German people while visiting there”, and so on.

What she learnt and saw was transmitted to us in the form of stories packed in fog and mist of the faraway Europe. We knew our friend in versions of her formed personality, but never the process in between. Bangkok changed that. This trip where we spent so much time with Linh - 24/7 in 4 days - is the first time that those stories are no longer stories, but live sequences of Nghiem Mai Linh, thinking, talking, squinting her eyes (various degrees of squint depicted below). After all, that's what humans do to each other right? Witness and be witnessed.

When I asked her what did she learn, this time, she answered as-a-matter-of-factly:

"I was impressed with how the Thai put their best effort in everything that they did. From the ARL and BTS staff, to the shopkeepers, restaurant-owners, they knew the value of their work and what it meant to their lives and to their Siamese nation, while people of the same job title in Vietnam usually get lost in those tiny seconds of superiority. I learnt things from you guys and especially chi Linh. And finally things I learnt from myself, because the trip took me by surprise quite a few times."

Watching the process in which Linh learnt in real time, comparing with the different things we concluded for ourselves from the same events, made me realize how similar and at-the-same-time unique we are, humans are.

We knew our friend from versions of her formed personality, never the process in between. Bangkok changed that.

Linh,

“You'll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living, breathing, screaming imitation to believe better things.”

For as long as Linh could remember, she was always to do the right thing, and she never failed to do so. What constitutes righteousness, however?

Firstly and most primarily, it must feel right for Linh. Secondly but nonetheless decisively, it must feel right for her parents. Thirdly, is that things feel right if her friends are there with her. Linh is made up of herself, her family, and her friends.

She is the less talkative one in our trio, but is never without company. We would always talk about how Linh is the friendly one, maybe because she listens better than the others. Linh is that people. Linh is that other person to someone else and I am fortunate enough to be that other person to Linh. And that is why being around her is always such a treat.

“The world needs Nguyen Viet Linh.”

- said one scholar named Beo.

No story is any good without a protagonist/antagonist dynamic, and no adventure with Linh is any bit exciting without her parents. Quickly after Bangkok was decided at the Starbucks place, the first thing Nghiem Linh and I did was showing up at Cau Giay where Linh resided.

--"Viet Linh, guess what? Let's go to Bangkok"

--"Yes! I mean. No! How?"

--"This is the last freaking trip in the last freaking year of our uni years. That's how for you right there!"

--"Anyone with an actually valid solution?"

--"Okay, I think there're might be a way to pull this off"

And so, we packed our bags, Linh with her neon passport in hands, ready to flee, leaving behind her SIM card at home for Beo to operates. After all, there is local network in Da Nang, where Linh was supposedly be to her parents. So when her parents would call, Beo would pick up the call and phone Linh on Messenger. That is some Mission Impossible materials we pulled off.

"Daughter traveling across Asia in ruthless deception."

A few thousand kilometers later, digesting Thai street food and 7Eleven down our stomach, Linh let us eavesdrop on her romance. The tales were either typical or adventurous depending on who you are, but her thoughts and decisions on the matter were usually straightforward, always reflecting what constitutes as right for her. If it goes too fast, it's a no-no. If it goes wrong, it's a no-no. Never were her thoughts stamp on one another, adjourned by "what if" and "but he". Something the other two-thirds of the trio and many other girls find hard to do.

We never actually talked about it but in my immature mind back in high school, I always think anyone too obedient to their parents misses out on things. "If they never rebel, never fail spectacularly, how can they feel and learn?" So when I first got to know this girl who is on the national academic team of a major specialized school, I automatically assumed that the type of girl she was.

But no, failing and rebelling is overrated, you need only a strong set of values and the decisiveness to act to go through life.

Never were her thoughts stamp on one another, adjourned by "what if" and "but he". Something the other two-thirds of the trio and many other girls find hard to do.

And so, the girls go. The first night ended in the morning - on the Asok pavement, with Ed Sheeran's blasting from the ice-cream/pizza shop. The second night in a luxurious Movenpick apartment. The third night on the 29th floor looking over the city from our Ekkamai palace. The fourth night comfortably in Nghiem Mai Linh's home.

Striding to find the Invisible Coffee Shop

*pics of faces*

Charlie's Angels - Chaktuchak ticket conquest!

*pics of things*

Chị Linh,

“A road movie is a film genre in which the main characters leave home on a road trip, typically altering the perspective from their everyday lives.”

Every story stumbles on a twist in about a third of its way, and finds its climax at around two-third the running time. Ours, being a classic Hollywood road movie and all, met a twist called "chi Linh" and reaches a satisfying climax in her Ekkamai suite.

Chi Linh has lived in Thailand for several months now and knows her way around the city centre. She enjoys working at her current company, and enjoys walking to work in the morning. Chi Linh climbs mountains as a hobby, and never misses a day in the gym. There are two tattoos on her skin that we know of. First is of Mount Kinabalu - the tallest, 4,095m-high mountain in Malaysia; second is a charming penmanship of the word Serendipity - "finding things without looking for it", chi Linh said.

We knew chi Linh as a former leader, one that was calm yet vicious, unyielding to external parties yet caring to her owns, smart but not without mistakes. We parted ways at AIESEC with a hint of bad blood that by now has faded in some of us and still lingers in others. So when we remembered chi Linh is in Bangkok, we are both extremely excited and kind of reluctant to finally meet her after so long.

Chi Linh smiling in her kitchen 'cause us kids are kewt

Serendipity (2001) - IMDb -- Rating: 6.9/10 - 93,704 votes -- Comedy -- A couple search for each other years after the night they first met, fell in love, and separated, convinced that one day they'd end up together.

Chi Linh greeted us as her own, just like the old days, like there have never been a 2-year behind our backs. She revealed that all her close friends are still the same one we knew, she called them once a week. About our little resentful past, she looked at her mistakes in daylight and told us about it. She looked back often, not to pick up regrets or to feel sorry, but to build characters for today version of "chi Linh".

That is why she never lost touch with the old friends while constantly finding new lessons and becoming the different and matured woman that we saw that day. She was lost in the FTU job craze for a while before calming down and finding content in doing what she loves, slow and steady, without anyone watching.

Like climbing a mountain, you have only yourself, your heart beating and your minds running, but when you reaches the top -- there's a spectacular view for the conqueror inside you. And even when you find yourself on the wrong path to the mountain top, you will always have the choice to stop, walk yourself down, and pick yourself up again.

Having a sister figure who went through what we are going through helped us imagine the kind of women we want to be, and can be.

You don't have to tell anyone that you're in Bangkok, but do tell that you're at Chitlom

Thanks for a rare picture of us together, chi Linh

Dear diary, 21st of Feb

"This February was a blur of realization and consequent happiness. It started with the most wonderful, and spontaneous trip to Bangkok with Linh and Linh. We spent the three days like a local, crashing at random alley food shops, spending afternoons at book stores, walking and staring at sparkling skyscrapers with our mouths open, breathing the cool musty air under blissful blue skies. The trees, the concretes, the books, and the girls, meshed up together in colorful dreams. One destination is one new context for a new conversation. Each and each opened up our minds about the other two and ourselves. Linh and the boy who travels. Linh and the man in the museum. Linh walking home with a broken leg. Linh and mum crying over an academic failure. We realized a marvelous humbleness when one gets to witness the past, the present, the future, and everything in between of another person. Being a witness. Isn’t that the purpose of a company?"

Phuong,

The morning after we left chi Linh's apartment, walking under the shades of Chit Lom street, I imagined myself walking past it to work every day, someday, a cup of Chatramue in my hand.